#Thelxinoe ~ Classics News for March 23, 2022

Hodie est a.d. X Kal. Apr. 2775 AUC ~ 21 Elaphebolion in the first year of the 700th Olympiad

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We tackle yet another late-aughts violent historical epic featuring a Roman centurion, painted barbarians and *sigh* the 9th Legion. This Gladiator-aspirant feels like a generic assemblage of every cliche from the last 60 years of sword and sandal films (along with more recent fantasy and war films); almost every discrete parts feels lifted from at least half-a-dozen other movies. For us, the most frustrating part is the movie touches on interesting ideas and themes concerning life in Roman Britain, only to fly right past them in favor of fireballs and pee-pee jokes. One thing we all agree on: this movie would be better with werewolves.

Atalanta: the heroine of ancient Greece. Or, was it heroines? There are two Atalantas, sometimes conflated into one, other times separate. One fought the Calydonian boar, wrestled Peleus, and generally kicked ass. The other lost a foot race, distracted by a golden apple.

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‘Sorting’ Out Your Day:

Today on the Etruscan Brontoscopic Calendar:

If it thunders today, it portends discord.

… adapted from the text and translation of:

Jean MacIntosh Turfa, The Etruscan Brontoscopic Calendar, in Nancy Thomson de Grummond and Erika Simon (eds.), The Religion of the Etruscans. University of Texas Press, 2006. (Kindle edition)