Apologies for the lack of an update yesterday … report card deadlines defied, as often. In any event, Adrian Murdoch continues his look at the Roman emperors (in order) with a real mama’s boy:

• #25 Alexander Severus: Emperors of Rome

She’s guest-starring on Law & Order: Criminal Intent as a professor of mythology … she explains the story of Icarus (sort of) … TV Guide has an “exclusive look” at the scene:

• Patti Smith Makes Her Acting Debut on Law & Order: Criminal Intent – Today’s News: Our Take | TVGuide.com.

… not really sure why the guy had to ask the prof; he seemed to know the story.

Alas … turns out it was a hoax. According to E! (excerpts):

[…]

But anyway, the A-lister has had enough with all these false reports going around!

Which reports, you ask? Well currently, her finger is pointing at The Sun, who claims the actress and her Coldplay hubby, Chris Martin, put out a personal ad looking for a tutor that would teach ancient Greek, Latin, French and Spanish to their kids Moses, 5, and sister Apple, 7.

The qualifications on the ad were a bit intense…

This faux ad states that the potential tutor must be fluent in all those languages, passionate about sailing and tennis, play instruments and will “probably” be an Oxbridge graduate.

We’d roll our eyes too, if it were true!

Extra caught up with Paltrow and asked her about this report. All she had to say was, “It’s such bulls–t. Honestly, at this point, I almost never read anything true about myself. It’s insane!”

• via: Here’s One Reason Not to Hate on Gwyneth Paltrow | E!

FWIW, the E! piece leaves out the Classical qualifications, for some reason. If you missed the original coverage, ecce: Possible Classics Dream Job?